I’m gonna go with Santa
Yep, here Santa, where do you live? Now Santa, tell me the numbers for the next Lotto draw, too! Tell me, Santa, how do you know what everyone did all day? Does that not get boring? Watching millions upon millions of people brushing their teeth? Scraping gum off their shoes? Santa, srsly, do you delegate much? Why do you even bother with us? What happens when people stop believing in you? Will you no longer give them presents? Does it hurt you if someone stops believing in you? Who invented you? Or were you just always there? If someone gets a gift they don’t like and I get one I don’t like, can’t you get us both in touch? Or swap it around? That would be much better! Where do your little helpers come from? Have they always been around? When people die, do they still get gifts? Oh, and Santa, while you are at it, please pass these questions on to God so He can answer them, too, as a Christmas gift.