No way!!!

by theodotdoron

Excitement, I wish I could say that I am calm as a cow, for, don’t they look incredibly cool and calm, chewing away? Or, say, a sloth? Yes, I just hang out like a sloth, in all languish I take no effort to muster up? Unfortunately, none of this applies to me. I like to give in to the illusion that it does, yet, my body sends me signs to the contrary.

I go to great lengths to convince myself that the world won’t end, that I ought not have fear of man, that it really won’t mean death in case anything goes wrong. To no avail. Sweaty palms are always a must, heart beating up to my throat, sometimes I see stars. Other bodily functions, too, work overtime, and I find myself frequenting certain parts of the house more than usual.

Yes, the last time I had reasons to be nervous was before jumping out of a plane at a height of 4000 meters. I did not spend a minute considering the process. Neither did I watch any YouTube clips. Nor did I read up on anything. Not in a million years did I want to know what awaited me.
I only knew I would not be looking down, in like, ever!

And it sort of worked. However, not looking at people while speaking publicly, seems rather an odd rhetoric thing to do. It worked, once, many moons ago, at university, turning my back whilst doing my presentation. Other instances though I did not do that, and, I don’t imagine it will go down a storm.

They did invite me out for drinks afterwards, though, something that had never happened before. Maybe it works after all, and I should even apply it while going for a job interview? I will have several of those coming up soon, can you imagine turning your back to your potential future employer while answering the questions? I don’t think so, so, I will have to continue frequenting the loo instead. Oh, well…