He loves me, he loves me not

by theodotdoron

Remember that Whitney Houston song, How will I know? I know the past for sure and could choose a point in life that I know to be worthy to revisit. Travelling forward though? If I knew what awaited me there, I wouldn’t have to travel ahead now, would I? Choosing the unknown over the known then is the question.

Isn’t every decision a little like that, though? I can choose between the trusted and proven and the great unknown. You could choose to take another route home from work today, small but maybe significant? How will you know? The past seems to be fully known to us. Somewhat, at least those moments you were present.

Not true, though, since sometimes memories cheat, yup, our brain is fairly funny that way. It is what you put your trust in in the first place. Yet what is the objective experience thereof? Have you any knowledge of it apart from being wrapped up in the experience ? How can we actually trust the decisions that result from our brains activity?

Our brain can cheat us is many ways. Colors vanish due to changes in circumstantial light, we experience fear and love even though we are anchored in deep sleep paralysis, pain can be signalled out of nowhere, phantom pain is a know symptom of the brain. Looks like what we ought to invoke in our decision making regarding our time travel is not so trust worthy itself.

It gets tricky from there on. Right now I am lying in bed with something what seems to be a slipped disk. I can not pinpoint when it happened, and so it is difficult to certainly avoid in the future. I have therefore ample opportunity to reflect, and so I do. Where do I actually come from? Who are my ancestors, I mean those say maybe 2000 years in the past?

It looks as though I am a great mysterious puzzle even to myself. Origin and even components are unknown to me. Know thyself is somewhat ironic in the face of evidence in favour of necessary ignorance. I could put my trust in random processes, in a way declaring the absence of knowledge and cause and effect to be trumping the rest.

“Who cares who your ancestors are and why your body hurts. It’s pointless and so don’t try to figure out any other points in life.” I guess I would then have to maybe throw a dice to decide if it is future or past that I would travel to. If however I view my questions as an indicator that certain answers are to be had, I would have to acknowledge some sort of purpose, don’t I?

Assuming semantics behind syntax, meaning behind data must catapult me into a realm of the supernatural, for the data itself is not the theory, the meaning assigned to it, the interpretation. Those things are not themselves found within the data, the phenomenon, the letters.

Now I have the task to investigate my options and hopefully come up with the most reasonable explanation. It would have to be trusted, as a reliable source, yet also enable me to catapult me into the unknown. Like your and my life, really. You being you is a pretty sturdy thing, and it enables you and I to march into the next moment.

There is another entity to claim those two characteristics, trust and courage: God. Repeatedly we read that since we can trust Him (He has proven Himself trustworthy in the past) we can courageously walk into the future. We are actually made in His image, and our lives being an analogy of trust and courage is yet another pointer to that actually being the truth. Let’s stay here, trusting it is cool and expecting the best.